Devastating News about Baby Braham

I was waiting until I was 12 weeks to announce my pregnancy, but at 11 weeks and 4 days I got the worst news possible. There was a problem with my baby. It had an enlarged bladder (10.7 mm and it should be less than 6 mm) and an enlarged ureter (connects the bladder and kidney). We went to a specialist for the 1st trimester screening, which we actually did not need to do as we did PGD (Array CGH) genetic testing on the embryos during IVF. They tested all 23 chromosomes and found out that 5 out of the 8 were genetically normal. We were very happy with these results as it was higher than the 40% average. The clinic ranked the 5 embryos (soon to be blastocysts) and we put the first two on the list, which happened to be a girl and a boy. At the 6 week ultrasound we found out we were expecting one baby. We were so thrilled! We also had an ultrasound at 7 and 8 weeks and everything looked great. We were then released to my normal OB. (You can read all about my pregnancy journey on my blog...www.brahambaby.blogspot.com.) After the specialist told us about this devastating news he told us he wanted us to get a second opinion with another specialist right away. We headed over there and the other specialist confirmed the bad news and told us to come back in two weeks to see if it gets better, but to prepare for the worst. The doctor was pretty grim and did not give us a lot of hope. We were devastated!! In the last 3 years we have been through so much... a vasectomy reversal, 5 IUIs (artificial inseminations) - two with clomid, three rounds of fresh cycle IVFs (egg retrieval and transfer), one frozen transfer for IVF, three miscarriages (counting this one), one D&C, and one D&E (counting this one), and many many countless timed cycles. Everything up until this point with this pregnancy has been right on track and we were even able to see and hear the heartbeat early. We were almost in the second trimester and then BOOM it was all gone in an instant. Craig and I went home after getting the terrible news and I started doing research online. I found out a lot about this problem through forums and case studies. I spent days gathering information trying to prepare myself for all the outcomes. I was hoping the problem would fix itself as it does in some cases, but tried to prepare myself for the worst outcome. The next two weeks were impossible! I tried to have hope for this tiny little baby inside me. There were days when I felt like everything was going to be okay, especially with all the family and friends praying and then other days when I felt like it was not going to end the way I wanted. My gut told me that it was not going to be good and normally my gut is right. Two weeks later we went back in for the follow up appt and while we were waiting I envisioned the doctor coming in and telling us everything was okay and it fixed itself, but that was wishful thinking and the opposite happened. The bladder almost tripled in size. It went from 10.7 mm to 27.9 mm. It was so big it was putting pressure on all the organs. The amniotic fluid was lower because the baby's system is not performing properly. They also found a cyst on the umbilical cord. The bladder is so big it makes up almost half of the body. We asked the specialist how this happened and he said this is sometimes the result of a chromosome issue, but since we already did genetic testing and everything was normal that this is a total fluke. The doctors all told me this baby is not going to make it. What gives me peace is this baby will be greeted in Heaven by my other two angel babies, my cousin Tim and Mindy's twin angel babies, my Aunt Ellen, Grandpa & Grandma Beurskens, and Granddad Jones. I know this baby will be taken care by all of them. Please say a prayer for us.

Julia's Volleyball Tournament

On Saturday we went to Julia's volleyball tournament in the suburbs. She plays on a club team and beat out a lot of girls to make the "A" Team. It was an all day event from 9am to 3pm. Julia played 6 games and they won 3. She played really well and we had a fun time watching her compete today. During her regular season it was hard to watch her games because they were right after school and it's so hard for us to get out there by 3:30. Ethan and I both took pictures of her playing and were able to get several action shots. We got a new camera for Christmas (Nikon D3000) and I love it!

New Home (Hopefully)

The view from our balcony in the master bedroom. That's the park that is caddy corner from our place.

The master bedroom (there is an area for our bed which is in the first part of the room and then a seating area at the back of the room in front of the door which leads out onto the balcony)

The kitchen

The front of our townhouse.

This is the dining room, which is next to the kitchen on the second floor and those stairs go up to third level that has three bedrooms and two bathrooms

A picture of the dining room from the kitchen

Craig and I put an offer down on a new construction place in Chicago the night before we left for Aruba and they accepted our offer. It's a 4 story, 4 bedroom, 4.5 bath, 2 car garage townhouse in Lincoln Park. We are scheduled to close in the next two weeks. I had been looking online for places for the last 6 months and only found 3 I liked, but when we drove by the neighborhoods we hated the area. We were looking for a single family home, but decided since we would rather live in a nicer area a townhouse would be a better fit. We LOVE the area of the new townhouse. It has a cute park caddy corner and we have already met the neighbors and they seem very nice. We have not sold our current place, but will be putting it on the market in the next week. We will not be able to move into the new place until we sell or lease the old place because we want the old place to be furnished since it will sell better that way. We are very excited and will keep you posted on how things progress.

Cora Day

Allison, Cora, and I hung out today and had lots of fun. Cora is getting so big! She loves to suck her thumb and stand up. We hung out at their house, went shopping, and had lunch. It was a little cold out today so we didn't stay out for very long. Thanks Allison & Cora for such a fun day. Love you both so much!!

NYE 2009

This year we had a low key NYE with the kids at home. We wanted to hang out with Allison, Scott, and Cora, but Craig is sick so we stayed home. We made crab legs, lobster tail, steak (for Ethan), cheesy califlower, and drank sparkling grape juice. Here is what we did: made cookies, Craig and Julia played chess, the kids played on their new iPod toches, watched Eagle Eye, Fool's Gold, and the count down on tv. It was a nice and relaxing NYE. We hope everyone had a great NYE and wish you all the best in 2010!